Apparently, Emily has a "qualm" with some misinformation I posted. The song that she was afraid to play on the west coast wasn't "Juicy" but "Hypnotize." This totally makes the situation less ridiculous and I should be very ashamed of myself for journalistic embellishment.
Overcoming My Fears of the Ferris Wheel
Me: "Wow, that Ferris Wheel looks like its actually going pretty fast. Maybe we shouldn't go on it."
Emily: "..."
Jon: "..."
Alright, fine. I’ll admit it that even though the Ferris Wheel was going a little faster than usual, I’m sure whatever speed it was going didn’t signify immediate danger. But that’s not the point. I don’t know what sort of sadistic, backwater Siberian prison camp that Jon and Emily grew up on that made them completely numb to the emotion of fear, but not only were they unafraid of going on the Ferris Wheel, they were EXCITED to do so.
Not being the carefree, throw-caution-to-the-wind daredevils that my friends are, allow me to explain things to the rest of the real world. The Ferris Wheel is fucking scary. Unlike roller coasters where you ascend a certain height and from there on out you’re experiencing a fun family thrill ride of a life time, the Ferris Wheel is different. You’re just dangling who-knows how many feet in the air, taunting God and waiting for Him to unleash all sorts of divine whoop-ass on you and send you plummeting to your certain and inevitable death. And Jon and Emily had the gall to call these completely normal feelings of mine "paranoid."
However, Emily persuaded me to go on using the same method my mother would utilize to get me to do any chores, homework, college application, or apartment lease I ever had to complete: she promised to buy me ice cream (left, delicious).
Maybe because we were only going 1mph and
maybe because we never ascended higher than the height of my old tree house, but it actually wasn’t that bad, and in fact maybe a little fun. I felt .8% more of a man that day for finally conquering my fears, and in a way I never felt more alive.Though that didn’t stop me from bawling and crying the whole time we were on. Or for the five hours after we got off it.
Powerhour Returns / Some Dude from Gray's Anatomy
It had been over four months but on Easter Emily and I finally awoke our old partying lifestyles and borderline drinking problems by doing the one activity that has pretty much defined our friendship since the moment we met: POWER HOUR.Just in case you hate fun or something and have never heard of a power hour, allow me to explain it to your square, narc ass. A power hour is a shot of beer every minute for an entire hour. And you know when a minute is up every time the song changes on your iTunes (an application called iPowerhour will automatically switch to a random portion of the song every minute). To do this though, we had to get shot glasses, so we went to a little gift shop where apparently and according to Emily some guy who played a character named Denny on Gray's Anatomy was in line right behind me. Having both of our genitals securely in tact, this was lost on Carter and I as we have never watched Gray's Anatomy. But apparently it was this guy, whose name is Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
It's a very good thing I didn't notice him at first because I clearly would've been lost in his mysterious yet undoubtedly gentle gaze.
However we went back home and finally did a successful power hour. Below is the playlist of champions:
All songs listed in red are ones that you should be thankful to be alive if you play them on the west cost.
Devil in Jersey City - Coheed and Cambria
Smooth - Santana feat. Rob Thomas
Wonderwall - Oasis
This Love - Maroon 5
It Ain't No Fun (If The Homies Can't Have None) Snoop Dogg feat. Warren G, Nate Dogg and Kurrupt
Californication - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Clocks - Coldplay
Intergalactic - Beastie Boys
Forgot About Dre - Dr. Dre feat. Eminem
Ziplock - Lit
Juicy - Notorious B.I.G.
In Bloom - Nirvana
Sittin' At a Bar (The Bartender Song) - Rehab
How To Succeed In the Music Business (Without Really Trying) - Hollywood Ave
Sweetness - Jimmy Eat World
Smack That - Akon feat. Eminem
Crooked Teeth - Death Cab For Cutie
Good Girls, Bad Guys - DMX
Trippin' Billies - Dave Matthews Band
On to the Next One - Jay Z feat. Swizz Beta
All Star - Smash Mouth
The Science of Selling Yourself Short - Less Than Jake
Going Away to College - Blink 182
Nightswimming - R.E.M.
One Week - Barenaked Ladies
Love Story - Taylor Swift
The Next Episode - Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg
Let's Make This Moment a Crime - The Format
I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
Closer to Free - Bodeans
1985 - Bowling for Soup
Fat Lip - Sum 41
High and Dry - Radiohead
Jude Law and a Semester Abroad - Brand New
Superman - Eminem feat. Dina Rae
Colt 45 - Afroman
My Name is Jonas - Weezer
Limelight - Rush
Dumpweed - Blink 182
Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne
More Than a Feeling - Boston
The Kids Aren't Alright - The Offspring
Hash Pipe - Weezer
Kiss From a Rose - Seal
Forever - Drake Feat. Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Eminem
Slide - Goo Goo Dolls
The Remedy - Jason Mraz
A Praise Chorus - Jimmy Eat World
Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind
At Your Funeral - Saves the Day
Feathers - Coheed and Cambria
Your Love - The Outfield
Basket Case - Green Day
3 A.M. - Matchbox Twenty
Free Fallin' - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
What's the Difference - Dr. Dre feat. Xzibit and Eminem
Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins
Piano Man - Billy Joel
La La Lie - Jack's Mannequin
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