Graduating College / Turning Up the Treble / Some Mo' Food Fo Thought

First of all big ups, BIG UPS, to Grandma and Grandpa Palmer for hookin me up with some sweet, sweet cash money for graduation.

Oh yeah, that's right. I graduated Emerson College on Monday. Aside from a select few people and some memories, I am so glad to be out of that traveling circus that calls itself an accredited college and never have to put up with its homojew-ness ever again.

Okay, fine. There were plenty of awesome times at Emerson College, which I'm sure are going to outlive the bad ones in my memory the older I get. But being at the ceremony made me realize that it was time to move on. For our ceremony, we get called up on to the stage and to accept our diplomas, while the rest of the audience watches on a big TV screen. About fucking half of my graduating class decided to take advantage of their increased visibility by either showboating, dancing like a faggot, or doing some other act of pathetic attention-seeking. What was supposed to be a way for our parents to see us close-up getting our diplomas became a forum for the Emerson closet-cases that still haven't gotten over their daddy issues to act like morons in front of his/her peers. And for that, thank fucking god I never to deal with those types of people again.

And yet, I'll miss it. However I feel about Emerson, it transformed me into the person I am today, and so there's no way I will ever regret attending it. I became friends with some awesome people who totally make up for the so many of the kids who I just can't stand. So thank you Emerson: You're still an asshole, but you made the man I am today. So suck it. Now that that's done, let's talk Ludlow. On Wednesday our friend Noah threw a Hawaiian theme party. Our friend wanted us to bring lays over, so what did we do? That's right. Buy a bag of Lays potato chips and pretend like that's what we thought he meant. Hey, I thought it was funny. So However Matt G and I decided to make some more fun on our own. We notice this FUCKIN' GUY sitting by a little DJ booth with this fancy little audio board (that's not the official term, I'm just a terrible audio major). He's playing the shittiest five songs over and over again. And he's sitting with like a thirteen year old girl on his lap clearly trying to get his D wet. Well we're not gonna let that happen are we?

This is has absolutely nothing to do with anything I mention in this blog, but if the internet and video games have taught me anything its that words aren't worth reading unless there are pictures present so here ya go.

So here's what we do. I go up to him and ask him to turn down the treble. Was the treble really too high? The fuck if I know*, but that's not the point. Then ten minutes later, Matt G. would go over and tell him turn it down. Repeat that process until he gets so annoyed he packs up his stuff and leaves. Success. Now we were able to start a limbo line and listen to REAL, quality, aesthetically appealing music like "Same Girl."

*Again, I'm a terrible audio major.

So yeah there we go. Still unemployed, but not giving up. Still working out and running. Lost? I'm excited for you're series finale but you still got some serious fucking explaining to do. And for everyone I care about at Emerson College who just received their diploma, congratulations.


One love,
Andrew G. / Geno

Good Stories

During my freshman of pledging, one of the senior brothers of SAE stated to us, "I live my life in pursuit of good stories."

Los Angeles was an amazing experience in terms of self-reflection and improvement, but I will admit that I didn't really come back with a plethora of hilarious, knee-slappin' anecdotes for all of you to listen, laugh, and learn from. While I'll never regret how I rebuilt myself in Los Angeles through a lot of time spent with Andrew Geanacopoulos, but it's the stories and memories involving the people I care about that make life so much more worth living. And since my return, I've been treated to a lot of good ones.

I don't have the endurance in my fingers to type out all of them, but I'm going to treat you with one of the better stories I've had from the past two weeks I've been back.

Alright, so its Saturday night and I headed to Springfield College for the night to visit Matt G. and company. There I run into my old friend Chris, who I've seen for the first time since coming back from LA and who I can without hesitation honestly dub "the fucking man." "Andrew G!" he states. "Alright, here's the deal, you pick out a girl, any girl, and I'll introduce you to her." Almost being more interested in seeing how well he could do this than wanting to hook up (almost), I scoped out the room as quick as I could and found a "lively" young woman whose mammory glands were bigger than some of the other girls there. "That one," I said, referring to said busty gal, whose tits were covered by a blue shirt. "HEY BLUE TITS!!" Chris yells with absolutely no shame at the top of his lungs to beckon her. "Come over here and meet Andrew G." Chris and I get right to the chase, and utitlize the most effective way to getting a big-booby blessed babe to show her your tits: Claim that they're totally fake.

My brother and Usher hang outside Springfield College, celebrating years of quality music and incidental pregnancies

"No they're not!" she said.

"Well prove it to Andrew G. He's a doctor"

For those of you wondering, no I have not received my doctorate degree nor have I ever taken study within any field of medical science. So I may not be the most qualified person to indicate whether tits are fake by feeling and looking at them, but that didn't stop BlueTits from letting me do just that.

So the party continues on, and now Chris and I are talking to one of BlueTits friends.

"So where do you guys go to college?" she finally asks
"Oh I go to Emerson," I replied,
"Wait, what do you study?"
"I'm a film major" Cause that's what I say when I don't feel like explaining what an audio major is.

It was at this point that you could literally see in this girls eyes her brain come to a screeching halt. She glared at me and squinted,

"So...you're not a doctor?" she asked, and then looked at me as if I just told her she was adopted and that her real parents were carnival workers.

"No, of course not." I replied, thinking she was kidding.

She turns away from Chris and I, and leaves. Then in the background, we very distinctly heard, "CATHY YOU JUST SHOWED YOU'RE TITS TO A FUCKING FILM MAJOR!"

I geuss I see her point. Going up to a man with a doctor's degree who realistically would have to be like 26 whose currently chugging Andre at an undergraduate dorm party, and having him confirm the legtimacy of your already too-much-exposed sweaterbags by letting him grope you, that's totally fine and helpful to the advancement of medical science.. But letting someone who's the same age as you and who gets to watch Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion in an academic setting*? You might as well sell your body on the street.

*Yes, that actually happened.

And there's my story.

Things are different right now. In a good way. My first weekend back was great but I was told by many people something that I really didn't want to hear, considering all of my supposed self-growth. And that was "Wow. It seems like you never left!"

While I certainly appreciate that compliment, I wanted to come back to Massachusetts a new man, and I started to worry that maybe I would go back to my old ways. But after last weekend, I could honestly tell something has changed. I can't put my finger on it or really describe it, but something about me has totally changed. And I'm really kinda pumped about it. These are new, scary times in our now college-free lives, and I'm certainly feeling the anxiety. But I can't help but have the feeling that good things are about to happening, and that if anything gets in the way, I know I'll be able to get over those obstacles.

I love you,
Andrew G. / Geno

Return to Boston / Big Bang Theory Is Still Terrible

After the longest flight from LA to Hartford you could possibly imagine, I am finally back on the east coast and just like that, every thing is back to normal. And I wouldn't have it any other way. also my absence from the west coast has forced me to change the name of blog. So here we go!

Had a great weekend crashing at E.Noonan's crib in Mission Hill, who has THE most comfortable couch in the world. I would compare it to a couch made entirely out of baby skin, but that image is far too horrifying to really get my point across, so forget I said anything.

As great as it is to be back, not everything is perfect and I think you all know what I'm talking about. On my flight home I had to take a layover to Chicago. On my first flight, I got to watch season 9 of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which some of you mortals may know as "god's gift to television." It was awesome. But then once I got on the next flight, I was treated to something far worse and far more evil, fucking The Big Bang Theory. I went from Curb Your Enthusiasm to The Big Bang Thoery. That's like going half-way through a blowjob and having your girlfriend be replaced with a cougar that's been training its whole life to chomp off your dick. With its mouth. It was a sick, tasteless joke that was played on me by United Airlines and I'll never forgive them for making we watch the sitcom equivalent of my sixth-grade science textbook only not even as funny as that.

In a previous blog post, I stated how The Big Bang Theory was less of a sitcom and more of a device created by sociopaths in order to make children cry. However, I left that post only half-completed, because even writing about the show was making me consult suicide hotlines. However, as I sit here before you, a new man with new experiences, I realize that if I don't truly let you know how terrible this show is, then...well I'm sure someone will mention it, but I'm going to do it anyway.

Allow me to break down the characters

Sheldon (played by Jim Parsons)

Sheldon is one of the two lead characters. Fuck Sheldon. All you want to do is put your fist through his face every time he speaks, moves, breathes, or exists. His mere being makes the world that less beautiful and could even drive Tony Robins to suicide. By even attempting to portray a sympathetic character, he has insulted you and your family.


Leonard (played by Johnny Galecki)

Someone has greatly misinformed John Galecki that he has comedic timing. Every time the writers copy and paste the bold face terms they find in their old middle school textbooks and try to pass them off as jokes, John Galecki is there to perform them, and he does so with such an air of misguided confidence that you might be tricked into thinking its funny. Unfortunately, there is not a witty bone in John Galecki's frail, lumpy monogloidy body to prevent you from shooting a gun at your TV every time he opens his mouth.

Howard (played by Simon Helberg)

I don't think that Howard was supposed to be a character on this show. No seriously. I honesty don't think that the actor Simon Helborg is supposed to have ANY written parts or even met with a casting director. He plays the character so awkwardly and is always so close to breaking character that I seriously think he's just some Los Angeles random who keeps sneaking into the Paramount studios and is able to get in front of the cameras without anybody noticing. When I was watching the show on the plane, I was literally waiting for the show to stop and CBS security to break in and escort this guy out the studios for being such an asshole.


Penny (played by Kaley Cuoco)

Look. The threat of overpopulation forced God to create things like Star Trek and Flight Simulator so that there would always be a certain sect of people who would have ZERO chance of ever reproducing in their lives. However His plan horribly, horribly backfired as nerds are awkwardly copulating like never before, making things like this stupid fucking show possible in the first place. And it is characters on TV like Penny that are perpetuating this atrocity to the miracle of birth. And let's face it, anybody who either currently or at one point in their lives had genitalia that operated correctly should never be finding anything in this show funny or entertaining.

Girls this hot don't hang out with people who only talk about PH levels and sedimentary rocks. They'll let them hold the doors open for them, weed their gardens, and maybe, if they are extremely lucky, acknowledge their existence.


Well I'm glad I got that off my chest. Good things that have nothing to do with shitty nerd shows are coming, and I'll be here to keep you update on them

One love,
Andrew G / Geno