Return to Boston / Big Bang Theory Is Still Terrible

After the longest flight from LA to Hartford you could possibly imagine, I am finally back on the east coast and just like that, every thing is back to normal. And I wouldn't have it any other way. also my absence from the west coast has forced me to change the name of blog. So here we go!

Had a great weekend crashing at E.Noonan's crib in Mission Hill, who has THE most comfortable couch in the world. I would compare it to a couch made entirely out of baby skin, but that image is far too horrifying to really get my point across, so forget I said anything.

As great as it is to be back, not everything is perfect and I think you all know what I'm talking about. On my flight home I had to take a layover to Chicago. On my first flight, I got to watch season 9 of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which some of you mortals may know as "god's gift to television." It was awesome. But then once I got on the next flight, I was treated to something far worse and far more evil, fucking The Big Bang Theory. I went from Curb Your Enthusiasm to The Big Bang Thoery. That's like going half-way through a blowjob and having your girlfriend be replaced with a cougar that's been training its whole life to chomp off your dick. With its mouth. It was a sick, tasteless joke that was played on me by United Airlines and I'll never forgive them for making we watch the sitcom equivalent of my sixth-grade science textbook only not even as funny as that.

In a previous blog post, I stated how The Big Bang Theory was less of a sitcom and more of a device created by sociopaths in order to make children cry. However, I left that post only half-completed, because even writing about the show was making me consult suicide hotlines. However, as I sit here before you, a new man with new experiences, I realize that if I don't truly let you know how terrible this show is, then...well I'm sure someone will mention it, but I'm going to do it anyway.

Allow me to break down the characters

Sheldon (played by Jim Parsons)

Sheldon is one of the two lead characters. Fuck Sheldon. All you want to do is put your fist through his face every time he speaks, moves, breathes, or exists. His mere being makes the world that less beautiful and could even drive Tony Robins to suicide. By even attempting to portray a sympathetic character, he has insulted you and your family.


Leonard (played by Johnny Galecki)

Someone has greatly misinformed John Galecki that he has comedic timing. Every time the writers copy and paste the bold face terms they find in their old middle school textbooks and try to pass them off as jokes, John Galecki is there to perform them, and he does so with such an air of misguided confidence that you might be tricked into thinking its funny. Unfortunately, there is not a witty bone in John Galecki's frail, lumpy monogloidy body to prevent you from shooting a gun at your TV every time he opens his mouth.

Howard (played by Simon Helberg)

I don't think that Howard was supposed to be a character on this show. No seriously. I honesty don't think that the actor Simon Helborg is supposed to have ANY written parts or even met with a casting director. He plays the character so awkwardly and is always so close to breaking character that I seriously think he's just some Los Angeles random who keeps sneaking into the Paramount studios and is able to get in front of the cameras without anybody noticing. When I was watching the show on the plane, I was literally waiting for the show to stop and CBS security to break in and escort this guy out the studios for being such an asshole.


Penny (played by Kaley Cuoco)

Look. The threat of overpopulation forced God to create things like Star Trek and Flight Simulator so that there would always be a certain sect of people who would have ZERO chance of ever reproducing in their lives. However His plan horribly, horribly backfired as nerds are awkwardly copulating like never before, making things like this stupid fucking show possible in the first place. And it is characters on TV like Penny that are perpetuating this atrocity to the miracle of birth. And let's face it, anybody who either currently or at one point in their lives had genitalia that operated correctly should never be finding anything in this show funny or entertaining.

Girls this hot don't hang out with people who only talk about PH levels and sedimentary rocks. They'll let them hold the doors open for them, weed their gardens, and maybe, if they are extremely lucky, acknowledge their existence.


Well I'm glad I got that off my chest. Good things that have nothing to do with shitty nerd shows are coming, and I'll be here to keep you update on them

One love,
Andrew G / Geno