Challenge Unlocked: Real Life (Memorial Day, Things on the Horizion)

For those of you with less of a life than me, then you'd probably noticed that this has been the longest gap in time since I've showered America with laughs and good times in the form of a blog post. Does this temporary absence mean a resurgence to blog writing, with a brand-spanking new direction and updates being more and more frequent?

FUCK NO I'VE BEEN BUSY. Between graduating, watching my friends graduating, going to parties celebrating people graduating, and using poor grammar, I is finding my time to be more and more consumed with an abundance of mostly unproductive shit. Plus I'm an adult now. That's right. A martini drinking, time-share owning, Microsoft stock trading GROWN UP. Goodbye Justin Bieber hello Stone Phillips, Andrew G has finally made it to the big leagues, and things are about to get messy!

Memorial Day weekend I had my first paying job at Camp Harvard. During Alumni Reunion weekend, many of the well-to-do graduates of the ivy league institution bring their children along with them and need responsible caretakers to look after them while they get drunk from 8:30am to 12:30am. Unfortunately there's a national shortage of responsible caretakers these days and they had to settle with myself and a bunch of my friends from Springfield College, who in no way fit the description of "responsible caretakers".

I had to look after a seven year old named Andrew. I thought the fact that we had the same name would provide us with hours of entertainment, but this kid couldn't have been more uninterested that someone had the same name as him. This was the first indicator that I was dealing with a child who was way, way smarter than me.

As I'm putting this kid to bed, he asks me "Hey Andrew do you want something to read?"

"Sure" I replied, assuming it was going to be something like the Polar Express or something. Nope, he brings me back Point Blank by Anthony Horowitz. POINT fucking BLANK. This kid is seven. At seven, I didn't even know what an Anthony Horowitz was.

To make matters worse, his father and mother were both pastors, which I inferred as "the two poorest Harvard graduates." As the father goes to tip me, he reaches into his wallet and starts to pull out a bill. "Nah," he says "You deserve another one."

The guy gives me TWO five dollar bills. I wasn't sure what to be more angry about; the fact that he only gave me ten dollars or that he was actually debating whether or not to give me half that. Luckily the kid was probably the most well behaved kid I've ever met and he certainly didn't give me any trouble. So I wasn't really that upset.

Not to get the hopes up of the three people that probably read this thing, but I may have some very exciting news this Sunday. I know its been a while but fear not, I shall return.

AMERICA!

Andrew G. / Geno